The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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