glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize