I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
