it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
