my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
