im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
