But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
