At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
