Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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