I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
