I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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