Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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