I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
