K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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