Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
