I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
