WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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