Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
