I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
