So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
