It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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