At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
