Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Semen is not good for contacts.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
