i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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