he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
