Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
