I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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