I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
