i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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