Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
