you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
