we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
