Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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