The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
