why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
