i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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