He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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