I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
