We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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