do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
