Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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