my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
