You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
