sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
