It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
