Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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