I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
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How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
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Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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