i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize