It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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