Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
"it" just moved
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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