just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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