I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize