Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
