I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
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He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
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Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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