you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize