At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
