i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
