I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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