Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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