I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
