Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
