thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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