My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
